Everyone is different, all co-workers bug us all in different ways i am sure, but here is my list of the top 10 things my co-workers do, that drive me to drink once i get off.....
10.Nosy-Seriously, do you need to walk up behind me all quiet as a mouse to ask me a question that you could have asked me in a mofo e-mail????, or better yet dial my gotdamn extension nosy ass...
9. sheisty-ness-Why you wanna catch a tude with me cause i just happened to call in the same day you chose to do so, bytch, i ain't psychic, and even if i was, i would still call in specially if i really need to, i.e. sick kid, hair appt, scheduled appliance and or piece of furniture being delievered to my house....
8. lack of patience-If you come to me DEMANDING shit, asking me over and over again for shit, trust, it's going waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down on my list of things to do, i done told ya, it's gone be finished when i bring it, send it, fax it, fed-ex it, messenger it, pigeon it (lmao) so get off my case
7. beggin- Nope, i will not share my strawberry whoppers with you, no, this candy jar sitting back here on my desk, and away from the general public's eye, is meant for me, naw, i don't keep shit in the fridge cause if another mofo take my coke, we fighting, and the cops prolly gon have to be called..
6. Is you punking me- Why i gotta be singled out 1st everytime it's a baby shower, wedding shower, birthday, anniversary, promotion, retirement, whatever, and not even asked, but basically punked into giving $20.00 how many times am i gonna have to tell yall, NO, i am not contributing to a dude who works in the warehouse who i ain't never even seen before baby momma purchase of a gotdamn bouncy seat, or highchair, or body sling, or whatever the hell people tote they kids in nowadays....
5. Dumb remarks-Now this here can include lame jokes, smart mouth ass comments, dumb ass questions, stuff of that nature, example, why say shit to me like "wow, you're here early today, not used to seeing that" knowning that shit gon run me hot, and set my morning off to the tune of bullshyt, how you gon clock me and my time, when yo' ass ain't even my boss????
4. do i look like i care?- Annoying Co-worker: good morning how was your weekend?
Chrissy: Fine, and yours? (now a normal person would say something like good, and have a great day, somewhere long them lines, not that mofo annoying co-worker, he really think you care so he keep on talking bout how he went hunting with his father -in-law over the weekend, and he repaired the leaky roof on his guest house, took his bitch made ass wife to the movies to see who gives a fuck, then went to bed ealry sunday cause his knee was sore after falling offa his mofo leaky ass roof......DO I LOOK LIKE I WANTED TO HEAR THAT SHIT???? )
3. Perkiness- Fa real, who da phuck is chipper, happy go luck, on a Monday morning @ 7:30am????
2. Your job title is???- How you gon tell me how to answer the phone, and you a mofo engineer???? this what you do, let me handle these phones, and you take yo' simple ass somewhere and engineer, fly, cook, wait, deliver, draw, arrest, (wahtever the case may be) some shit....
1. Somebody done told you wrong-I am the only black female in this office, why that make me the resident go to girl on all things urban is beyond me, but don't get mad @ me when i ignore dumb ass questions/comments like "you are so lucky to be able to do whatever when it comes to your kinda hair" man, GTFOH with that.......or my all time fav, and i swear a old white lady asked me this @ a job i had a long time ago, but the shit stuck in my head "what's so good bout pig intestines anyway?????" da hell????? i don't even like chitterlings old bag.....
anyway voice yall thoughts, and shouts to bammy who got the day off cause hell, she bammy, lol joking it's a holiday on the islands...she will be back tomm....
12 years ago
25 comments:
11- Why the hell you can't answer your own damn phone and check your own damn messages
12- why the hell you wait til 4:57 to ask me to do something when you know i get off at 5:00 if it ain't done by the time the clock strikes 5:00 then don't expect it to be done until the next business day
lmao @ hotsauce.....12 is the mofo truth tho ain't it.....
lol....tell em why you really mad Chrissy!
lmao @ Onan.....
13. get your eff'in eyes off my puter ! stop asking me what i'm looking or laughing at !
14. "damn, must be nice to have a brand new honda. you make those big bucks"...nigga that's cause all my other cars was old as shit & i spent the same on monthly repairs as i would on a car note PLUS you worry about your house on your 3 acres of land in the country & stop concentrating on my honda....better yet why you've been here more years than me & act like i make more ? nigga you work overtime & i don't sooo shut the eff up !
15. how's your momma & everybody doing ? nigga i don't like you ! please stop asking me questions that's not work related & no i don't want you to buy me lunch so you can start stalking me !
16. why i need to call somebody back to see what they wanted when they wanted to talk to YOU not me !
17. didn't i tell you i'll let you know when i received the documents...stop asking me if i got em yet !
14. "damn, must be nice to have a brand new honda. you make those big bucks"...nigga that's cause all my other cars was old as shit & i spent the same on monthly repairs as i would on a car note PLUS you worry about your house on your 3 acres of land in the country & stop concentrating on my honda....better yet why you've been here more years than me & act like i make more ? nigga you work overtime & i don't sooo shut the eff up !
^^^^^^lmmfao why is it that the mofo cheapskates bobble that got land, and acerage, and stocks and bonds and shit care wtf it is we drive?????? shit irks me....and why them same people drive the oldest ragediest shit to work bobble, and if they do get a new vehicle it's a big ass shiny gas guzzling truck, but we pushing them hondas, impalas till it either breakdown, or it's paid for......lmao
nosy coworker example below
why everytime it's lunch being catered here, or ppl coming in his ass don't know, this one dude come up here to the lobby askin me questions, BUT he be tryna to play it off like he really knew, he just wanted to make sure, i swear his ass just pop up when he feel vibes coming from the front lobby and here his ass come.......nosy muthafucker......
dag, I see why ya'll hate coming to work! its just so much anger in the air. like ya'll walk around grittin your teeth all day....get off work and your jaws just sore....got little bits of teef shavings on your shirt....
actually Onan, i have taken my husbands advice, and i let it roll of my back, i ain't bout to go nuts up here, tomm is a new day....simple as that....and quit acting like yo' coworkers are angels....lmao know you be wanting to straight cuss em out sometimes
just one dude who whistles ALL DAY LONG!! Sometimes its not even a song, just some noise he makes up as he goes along. But I can just close my door so I don't have to hear him. I work in a small company and 2 of my co-workers are friends that I see outside of work. Me and my boss are real cool. So I don't have a whole lot to complain about.
well lucky Onan.....lol i ain't got too much to talk noise bout if they would just leave me alone.....lmao we good
and the whistle man would have been got cussed out.....
lol why my old boss would start humming out of the blue & it would be the same 3 or 4 notes...that's it...hmm hmm hmm hmm....that's it
18. why can't you sneeze like a normal person ? why you gotta sneeze like you're trying to make snow fall from the fuckin mountains ? dammit shut up ! cover your mouth too...jeeez
19. "damn gee, that sure smells good. you be eating like a queen in here" negro please...anybody could grab an onion & bell pepper from ya house, some cheap ass turkey breast & fry it in a effin pan with some butter...how is that like eating like a queen ? hell you talk about macdonalds or burger king but it sounds like you can afford to eat out everyday while i'm buying something cheap for the whole week !
ahhahhahhahh lmmfao lawd me and bobble work @ the same damn place, anybody can get a gotdamn chicken breast bell pepper, onion, throw that mess in the oven and cook some rice, BAM that's eating like a mofo queen girl, i thought you knew....
All I have to say is THANK YOU for this list!!! Just before I read this list I had (probably still do) a nosy ass co-worker. She USED to spend her days looking back at me to try to see what I have on my computer screen (because she's 41, single, bored and a hater all wrapped in one). I always see her through my perinferal (sp) vision (I be side eying the bitch) but on the low. This morning I couldn't take it anymore. So while she was staring (but not knowing I am also staring at her but side eye like) I sent her an IM saying: Stop being nosy. What I am doing has nothing to do with you."
She hasn't looked back this way in the last 4 hours and GODDAMIT I feel good about it.
Can't ya'll tell it's Monday?
handled that like a G sweetberries
OOOOH this list is the TRUTH!! And I hate that my co worker has to use MY desk to use MY computer because it has the POS system on it. WTF am I supposed to do all day!
No, I don't want to hear about your weekend and don't ask me for details about my weekend.
No I don't want to tell my fucktard co-worker something that you can tell him directly.
I don't know if this has ever happened to any of you before, but a co worker of mine called me from outside to ask me to order some food for him to be delivered to the office. Like he couldn't do this over the phone himself?
I'll be back....
lol..too funny guyz i miss ya'll!!
lol...damn these asscracks we work with !
hey notchy !
damnit to hell, I missed this.
20. Stop throwing firecrackers and paper planes at me.
21. We are in an office there is no need to use a blowhorn
22.Stop trying to scare the black off me!
23.If you don't tell me something how in the hell am i suppose to know when you ask me bout it?
24. STOP asking me if i'm going to pay/bring you lunch.
25. Do NOT mention how big my body part(s) are/is
26. Stop giving me nicknames..
oooh it felt good to let that out
oh i forgot
27. After you finish smoking, use some febreeze.
25. Do NOT mention how big my body part(s) are/is
^^^^
BAMMY, HOW BOUT YOU ASK HIM HOW BIG THAT SEXUAL HARASSMENT CLAIM IS GONNA BE .....
LOL!!!
Blogger Jay Midnyte said...
handled that like a G sweetberries
Thanks much. The bitch announced her vacation today. I hope she finds a life while she's out.
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