I woke up this morning regretting this whole marriage thing, what was i thinkin', marrying this man was the DUMBEST thing i ever did, i am slowly ruining my career, my songs suck, my dance moves stiff, my body out of order....the groupies ain't checkin' for me anymore, not that i care tho cause girls just ain't my thang...
i have no control over my life anymore, cause HE run it all, got me opening up dance camps for kids and shit, like i care, EFF them kids, what i wanna do is get back on the party scene, start back kicking it like i used to running in and out them parties, waking up drunk and tired from them orgy parties Diddy throw, but HE got me being a family man, i don't know how much more of this shit i can take. HE done ran my moms off, the only woman i actually liked and loved, HE ran her off, got me going to bed @ 7:30pm, i am not sleepy @ that time, and if i tell HIM that, he goes the fuck off telling me i am a whore who can't keep it in his pants, i suck as a singer, the baby ain't none of mine, the whole time i am thinking SO, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHO THAT KID BELONGS TO....
I still have nightmares over the way HE did me when i said i wanted to break up cause HE was too controlling, i didn't even see it coming, the cold basement, the chains, forcing me to watch Chris Brown videos, my gawd the horror, i NEVER wanna go throo that again, that is why i ain't told HIM i am leaving and going back to my mom's, it's this whole elaborate thing i had to plan out over the course of 3 months with the help of a few of my friends, my homegirl Chilli already got the unmarked car waiting, all i gotta do is wait till HE fall asleep, BAM i am gone....Lil Wayne, (and man do i have a crush on him but that's another story...lol) is sending me a bottle of that KILLA syrup, he told me to mix up a drink, like vodka or some shit, put bout two tablespoons of this shit in the drink, that bitch will be out for days, won't even know i am gone..
Anyway, i am glad i got this shit offa my chest, and if i don't make it out alive, least my journal can help to prosecute my HUSBAND and send HIM to jail, cause HE would most def. kill me, only thing is, all my secrets gon come out, me being a fruit kabob, the fact that i married a man and had a surrogate carry a child i had to name after me and i ain't even want it, the fact that i sound like a cat with cancer when i sing live, my fans gon be so disappointed, fuck it i can't think of that right now, i gotta focus on my escape......
Usher...
116 comments:
LMMFAO, u know u DUMB right?
lmao K tell me why i was typing this shit and lmmfao while i was doing it, bobble was like do a celeb diary thing and i was like that's a good idea that is where this came from....so blame bobble olay ass fa this mess lol
LMMFAO, y'all r SO creative to think of some shyt like this! LMAO what's up with the gravatar...u happy nikka?
girl that gravee is to irk ya cyber brother nodays, his ass hate it so imma keep it up till he embrace it lol
LMMFAO!!! loves it...
his sisco it's all about me azz!!! LMMFAO he gone kill me when he read that
and as far as being creative K, 504 said we used to play the celeb diary game back when we was tripping in bossip, but i don't remember it lol that is where the Why shit come from the EFF it game, most of the stuff we do here now, me and bammy just got it from when we was on bossip, we was like we need to do our own shit take this mess we be tripping off of in here and make our own blog.....
lmmfao nodays gon kill yo ass fa that K ahhahhahhahh
that is too funny cuz i can really see that nigga sitting there thinking all of this shit
hold up how yall end up discussing me?
his sisco it's all about me azz!!! LMMFAO he gone kill me when he read that
^^^oh so you get 8 good pumps in you and you dont know how to act right kali?
dear diary,
i dreamed of magical ponies last night. flying butterflies with sparkley wings & a rainbow of stars & moons & green clovers & purple horseshoes. my boyfriend, oops i mean my hubby did the cutest thing this morning. after we made out, he put on my high heels & walked around with his shirt tied up, put his finger in her nose & wiped it on his shirt his momma bought him & said he's gonna give it to his little brother. hehehehehe, he's sooo silly.
dear diary,
this afternoon some girls came up to me in the mall & asked me if i was buying this mini skirt for my daughter. i'm too young to have kids. i'm only 15 years old in fairytale years, geeez louise. why are people telling me i need to get back to SANGING ? isn't that what i'm doing ?
sincerely, lil mariah cannon <3 ooh i love writing that !
Chrissy every time i read it it get's funnier and funnier!!
LMMFAO bobble wobble, let me see if i can think of one
dear diary,
it's been what seems like 20 years since my career was MUUURDAAAAH'D ! what will i do without my BAYBAHHHH !! i don't know what to do about it ? i told me manager to ask soulja boy if i can do a remix of superman. i hope that goes well.
ja
LMMFAO bobble
lmmfao @ bobble
dear diary....
i looked in the mirror and i was afraid
lil kim...
I can't think of anything
lol bobble
dear diary,
FUCK SOULJA BOY...and the horse his ass rode in on i beat my son and his friends asses today cause i walked in on em doing the mofo superman dance....i told them niggas he ain't hip hop, nigga i am, i wrote colors bitches i took down the biggest drug czar in history damn it, then my snot nosed son wanna point out that my charecter took down nino brown in a movie not me, THEN he gon have the nerve to call coco in the room to come get me so i can take these meds, and get a nap, i told em fuck em all......i swear imma beat soulja boy ass fa this shit here...
Ice-T
lol yall are silly
dear diary,
i am the queen. can't nobody touch me. can't nobody defeat me. i am the best at what i do. everybody be hating on me, just cause i have a team on my side. eff whatever they heard diary, they still be speaking my name. they still be rocking my song. they still gonna r.e.s.p.e respect me. cause i sold 50, 000 copies. bitches.
love, you know
GET OUT!! LMMFATFO
504 said...
dear diary,
i am the queen. can't nobody touch me. can't nobody defeat me. i am the best at what i do. everybody be hating on me, just cause i have a team on my side. eff whatever they heard diary, they still be speaking my name. they still be rocking my song. they still gonna r.e.s.p.e respect me. cause i sold 50, 000 copies. bitches.
love, you know
^^^LMMMFAO you know i got a rommate right? you can't be doing this kinda sh!T no more, i'm here trying not to laugh and that's the hardest thing!!!
sorry but
dear diary,
little blanket asked me today am i his mommy now. i told him i'm whatever he wants me to be. he said his friend said mommies don't have penises. i sent him to his room. after i made him call his friend over for a sleep over. a he he he ! ow !
Dear Diary,
I don't know why everybody tripping offa what's happening with me. I mean i go to Roscoe's chicken and waffles now and i get evil eyes and nasty remarks.When before i got all the chicken and waffles i could fit in my beard. That was stuff that was done in the past, I'm the BOSS now. They better stop calling me a copper or i'll eat them. Speaking of which i'm hungry i know i had some fried chicken round here somewhere..wait let me check my beard.
The biggest boss you've seen thus far aka Ross bka William.
i got one
dear diary,
i told them it wasnt me. i aint stick my key in her ignition, i got a mole and he dont. well diary i gotta go now school is about to let out
Dear Diary,
I've been fighting these urges for a while now. But i don't think i can take it anymore. I turn to drugs and alchol to fight it but it's only so much that can do after a while. I drown myself in work but that doesn't help anymore either, cuz everytime i turn around there he is. He's just so handsome and his lips are just so soft, how i yurn to kiss them again. If he only knew i write half of my songs about him.
Shawty wanna thug
Bottles in the club
Shawty wanna hump
You know I like to touch
Ya lovely lady lumps
How can he not see it? My lust for him is so strong. I love my daddy.
Wezzy F.Baby
dear diary,
why my grandkids wanna play tarzan with me ? who's zooming who ? i accidentally left the bathroom door cracked while showering. i know they saw me cause i heard uncontrollable laughter. wonder what that was about, but anyway, i asked them what's the sudden urge to wanna play tarzan & jungle jane & george of the jungle & junior's boy said he saw some good vines to swing from. i don't have any vines in my yard. these kids & their imaginations.
love rere
lol bammy & chay chay
GET THE HELL OUT....lmmfatfo
dear diary,
DA FUCK i get myself into, i woke up this morning and realized this nigga really do look like joe camel.....
bey.
dear diary,
Im out of jail and I recovered and Im ready to party. Neffe get Keyshia and lets go HOOOOOLLLLLAAAAAA
Frankie
lol chrissy joe camel tho
ya'll are crazy in here....LOL!
"^^^oh so you get 8 good pumps in you and you dont know how to act right kali?"
LMMFAO, TIMEOUT!
Dear Diary,
I'm still lookin for my bust it baby, who knew it would be so hard to find someone worthy of that title. And why my manager ain't gave me khia's number yet?
Plies
i just read y'allz dear diaries...y'all all r crazy!
k chay i got one....
dear diary,
why am i cursed with a momma like frankie ole crackhead ass, she may be crack free, but she damn shole ain't liquor free, you know she had the nerve to put her teeth in and go make a pass @ russel simmons @ this charity thing we went to, my new single is gon be called "momma sit yo ass down" i got missy on this track DAAAAAAAAAM THAT'S HOT... i gotta go tho neffe gotta go drop the kids off with they daddy....
key key..
LMAO, u my sista farreal...i was finna do a keyshia cole one and sign it key key..hold on
lmao @ K we be vibing...
i got one for yall
dear diary,
oh how i love being in this house will all these men. i know ima get at least one of em. they are all my type. all i gotta do is get one to look at my beady eyes and giddy smile and they gon feel the same way i do. im so glad mr bentley gave me anothe chance plus i dont have nowhere to go
t jones
Chay, imma have to cease our cyber friendship now offa that shit lmmfao
dear diary,
i took an eye examine today & found out i had bad vision for the past several years, the doctor gave me these wondeful contact lens & i can see so much better. now i need to find a safe way out of this engagement.
love, monica
Dear Diary,
I love my family but i swear I can't take they azz NOWHERE!!!! last night we went out to the club and my momma kept screamin TYRA MAIL all fukkin night, this bytch has never even met Tyra...and my sis, *smh* it's just gettin crazy..she quit her job working for that transportation tom'bout her new baby daddy gonna take care of her?!? how n the hell when he is a crackhead? That bytch will come runnin back...always tombout she don't need me..bytch i'm Keyshia Fukkin Coles!
Dear Diary
I am so frightned here with all these big ass menses, i keep talking and acting all hard thinking it's gon throw em off but i think they on to me, T-Jones done already tested me, he came to my bed 2 times and told me i could be the bottom if that is what made me comfortable. i can't wait to get back home to my real self tho, dressing in these men clothes, this low haircut i had to get, and my makeup kit, lawd i damn shole miss that, good thing my name is kinda unisex-ish Kesan can be either a boy or girl name, can't it....
lata.
Ke..
lol at kali that tyra mail is too funny
alright K follow chay ass on out of here. lmmfao talking bout TRYA MAIL!!
lol yall got me crackin up over here
dear diary,
all i wanted to do was sell some suits
cee
transportation company*
lmmfao chay i swear imma take yo keyboard
dear diary,
i should have kept toting that umbrella for Diddy....
FB
LMAO
Dear Diary,
Tell me why this nikka came in the house last night tom'bout "you just do you, i'mma do me???"
I said "niggah what" and punched his azz in the mouth, i don't play that shyt! niggah sit down cuz i ain't no sideline ho..damn i hope lil rocko ain't see that shyt
dear diary,
all i wanted to do was sell some suits
cee
^^^^^lmmfatfo i cannot stop laughing @ that one....
dear diary
i cant wait to get back to my bench in da park
da butler
Dear Diary
aufkhuirhfwfhh;we fwejijiopjqpp cuz see i can't stop drinkin thhis shyt heuwhfuiehui;weh yano cuz we all on the same planet duhfuedhofd;e eho'fejio dejlo I LOVE NIVEA jsj'ojfio jiljk'
weezy f baby
dear diary
i den told this nigga i got that good good and he still aint tryna wife me
ashanti
dear diary,
why mary won't take my calls, she know that nigga ain't putting it down like i puts it down, devante had that GOOD shit last night MAN i was so damn high i called mary and cussed her ass smooth the fuck out, then me and devanted wrote a few songs, got a lil more higher, shit fuck it i love her
K-Ci
dear diary,
i almost got in huge trouble when i got in late last might. my brothers woke the whole house up loud capping me asking me where i was. i told them i was doing inventory at the boutique. i feel sooo dirty. i was soo desperate for them cat cutter with the zippers on the sides i slobbed ned's knob for damn near a hlaf hour. that nigga didn't want to cum & i had to get big bubba to get my money from him. i can't believe that nigga store his money in those lil paper bags. boy i hope he don't say nothing to my daddy cause he'd shole give me the big mac if he knew how i stay fly all the time.
p.s. i think i'm falling for sweet daddy but i can't tell him or he'll cut me to the white meat. he said i give good head but i have nothing on that bitch Savannah. lol that's why jj fucked up her portrait !
love thellmah
see, lmmfao i had a good one, least i thought it was good, bobble KILT it DEAD tell my momma not to cry i'se gone lmmfao
dear diary,
of course im fucking diddy. who wouldnt? shit hes diddy
cassie
dear diary
i dont give a shit who he is fuckin as long as he cut the check
kim porter
dear diary
i dont give a damn how much money i got. i aint make these kids by my damn self tell russell he knew all about the terms in the contract
Kimora
dear diary
why mommy dating this man and i can even pronounce his name
Ming lee and Aoki Lee
dear diary
what was i thinking???? when that car was flipping all i could think was damn i done fucked up, this shit gon hit the media hard, me in a wreck with some ole haggard white woman in a mofo 1997 maxima, i couldn't help it tho, her head game is something i have NEVER experienced in all my years, the way she takes my piece all the way down, she got them soft ass hands, shit wifey never did that for me, i am wondering if my fucked up arm was worth it now....
morgan
Dear Diary,
well Im off to crush another girls dream. I do it so well. I make them feel like I care for them so much then i send them home
Tyra
dear diary,
Kimora Who?
russel
^BYTCH!!! u.r.a.fool for this shyt right here!!! I can't
@ chriss tombout "dear diary
what was i thinking???? when that car was flipping all i could think was damn i done fucked up, this shit gon hit the media hard, me in a wreck with some ole haggard white woman in a mofo 1997 maxima, i couldn't help it tho, her head game is something i have NEVER experienced in all my years, the way she takes my piece all the way down, she got them soft ass hands, shit wifey never did that for me, i am wondering if my fucked up arm was worth it now...."
morgan
dear diary,
i gotta do something QUICK if it came out that rick ross was a corrections officer and not this big time pusher, then it's most def gon come out that i really am a dwarf...
JD
dear diary,
he dont have to walk in those heels like that. he be a faboulus gay man like me without all that
Jay Manuel(Mr. Jay)
dear diary,
i can't stand how thses niggas, wait let me fire my blunt up real quick, like i said, i can't stand, damn now i done lost my train of thought, i need to leave this weed alone...
snoop
Deary Diary,
i knew i should have just stuck to fukkin Terrance
Rocsi
dear diary
all these girls on 2 ditzy are damn fools
n0days0ff
dear diary,
i knew i shoulda kept that baby
free
dear diary,
i wish this nigga get out my basement
tiggers mom
dear diary,
i'm feeling really guily. this whole dwarf thing got me wanting to come clean about spiking janet's dranks with dwarfuwantme a dwarf-loving drug & now i found out she can become immune to it and totally not take effect to it & dump me. what i'mma do
jd
dear diary,
who would thought i would ever get this many dumb ass girls to let me put my hands on them all at once
flavor flav
dear diary,
how jd gon leave me for janet
bow wow
dear diary,
i thought by now i'd get my own reality show. hell i be on the other end of a dating show too. but damn this crazy bitch won't let me out her site. i almost died when she was riding me. she wanted me to suck her nipples & bam, my whole moth & nose was covered. then the bitch keep calling me a punkass sissy with a pussy & jumped off & called somebody & left. i think it was buddah. hell how long i gotta stick with this crazy ass. i haven't seen her without a wig yet. i thought after kissing her ass & pretending to propose to her was gonna give me the exposure i need. but this thing took it seriously & now i'm broke. how i'mma tell her without her beating the living YELP outta me ?
dear diary,
i know ciara better get that pussy outta chris face for i come empty a clip in that nigga
50
dear diary
all i know is ima be right beside 50 if she dont get the fuck out my man face
rihanna
dear diary,
i tried to come back as a chick in this game but this shit ain't working. i've been dressing as crazy as i can trying to get attention. sucking on pacifiers n shit but nothing. i tried to distract them by adding "LIL" to my new alias since i dropped it from my real alias, but damn nothing. i guess i'mma hafta give up on being lil mama & start again
bow wow
dear diary,
i agree with nodays we some fools in this bitch...
chrissy
dear diary,
the eastside boys bothering me again talking bout it's my fault we ain't got no mo hits left in us, it's my fauly ppl ain't take us serioulsy cause we all out in public drinking shit outta gas containers, i told them niggas WHAT!!!! YEEAHHHHH!! and then they threw crunk juice cans @ my head...i don't need this shit...
JonJon
dear diary
you think i can pass for straight? welp, i'll try
ne-yo
dear diary,
he married the bitch, it's on now, imma go back to tha island and get a potion mixed up fa that ass...
rihanna
dear diary
im glad free aint have that baby
jay-z
dear diary,
i cant believe im still wit this crazy bitch
nas
dear diary,
why these motherfuckers worried about how many babies im poppin out my ass. Shit i got money
erykah badu
dear diary,
for some reason bad shit keep happening to me, i fell down them steps, damn that shit hurt too, rihanna ass blowing the fuck up, kelly getting XTRA, talking out the side of her neck to me saying she like the song umbrella i told momma tina the deal, she said she bet ri ri done put roots on me she gon try to reverse them roots tho sice she creole she know all bout that shit, till this day tho my daddy STILL won't eat momma spaghetti.....that is how cold momma is with them spells and shit, got a nigga scared to eat her cooking....
bey...
dear diary,
why da brat don't get we'd be a good ass couple, if she get her face outta mariah's thighs long nuff, she'd see who can give it to her right...
missy
dear diary
i sure do miss carlton and uncle phil
will smith
dear diary
fuck da brat ima get wit her sister specially since her husband fucked up. Damn I love me some Diamond
Missy
Chriss-bytch why i was gonna do a lil jon one?/
LMAO YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Off topic- have u seen David Banner in Bun Bs new video "ur everything"???
dear diary
how the hell did olivia blow up more than me
rudy
dear diary
do u think i should tell chelsea that i think eddie is gay thats why he is always with us. maybe not since she is such a ditz
raven
dear diary
who decided to let goofy dumb ass walk on 2 legs and talk while im down here on all four.
pluto
K i haven't seen it yet, how my boo looking in the video, he looking good, i know he is....lol and chay done took these dear diarys to a whole nother level....
dear diary,
has it ever occured to these nosy bastards i LIKE being naked from the waist down, gives my nuts room to breath....
donald
LOL naw im done now
lmfao chrissy u got me crackin up with that donald one
lol naw chay keep going shit is too damn funny to stop it lmao
dear diary
did it occur to these motherfuckers that this is my clubhouse. everybody always tryna get a lil shine. this my place bitch
mickey
dear diary
everybody always think im scared of shit fuck angelica, tommy, and phil and lil. i aint the fuck scared i just dont feel like doing the dumb shit yall always wanna do
chucky
dear diary
why patty mayonnaise always gotta act like she dont know im feeling her. bitch u know i got a crush. where the hell is skeeter?
doug
dear diary
these motherfuckers at nickelodeon always got me chasing some fuckin animals. ima give them one more chance than im goin to disney
diego
dear diary
why i gotta be the one to walk around talkin to a monkey all day? what i look like? fuck waitin on diego im out
dora
damn u can tell i got a 2 yr old at home. im done for real now im over here trippin
chay, you won this here battle hands fucking down that gotdamn chucky one lmmfao lawd i can't even.....
"K i haven't seen it yet, how my boo looking in the video, he looking good, i know he is....lol "
girl Yes!!! i had to remind myself that's UR man..LMAO
plzzzzzzzz go look at this shyt!!! LMMFAO
http://youknowyoudeadazzwrong.wordpress.com/
WOOOOOOWWWWWW that shit came outta nowhere Chrissy lmao
y'all are some MUTHAEFFIN FOOLS! how did i miss this today?
LMAO!!! It's like moooving mountaaaainnss!
Post a Comment