Pic: googlefied
The dating scene is not what it's cracked up to be anymore. So us being the nice and caring people that we are, we decided to help the single folks out there. Here is a list of first date don'ts You follow these you might just be successful in the dating arena. Up first is the don't for the Ladies:
*Just cause dude says get whatever you want doesn't mean you should. If that were the case he woulda took you to Golden Corral.
*We know you wanna impress your date but please can we leave the freakum dresses in the closet. Is that really the first impression you wanna make?
*While you and your date are having a good insightful conversation, that is NOT the time to bring up your baby daddy, ex-boyfriend, emotional baggage or the fact that rent is due on the first. Those are buzz kills in a conversation.
*Just cause dude says get whatever you want doesn't mean you should. If that were the case he woulda took you to Golden Corral.
*We know you wanna impress your date but please can we leave the freakum dresses in the closet. Is that really the first impression you wanna make?
*While you and your date are having a good insightful conversation, that is NOT the time to bring up your baby daddy, ex-boyfriend, emotional baggage or the fact that rent is due on the first. Those are buzz kills in a conversation.
*Don't tell him ALL your business, leave something for the second date (if you want a second date)
*We know drinking helps to get people more comfortable but don't drink Patron(or your drink of choice) like you're drinking a cold glass of ice water on a hot summer day and you are dying of thirst. Being smashed and not remembering what happen the night before, it's not a good idea.
Now Gents it's your turn
* DO NOT let Plies lie to you and tell you being a goon is a good look. When your 50 and still single with a seriousKEG beer belly and a gold fronts..I got a secret for you it's only gonna get harder to find your bust it baby.
*Try your hardest not to look at the waitress's/walk by scallywag/on the prowl hoodrat, humps and or lumps. And if you do..well just don't..Give your lady for the night your full attention.
*When ya date orders a steak, don't ask her "you see the price on that" that's just rude, and tacky, buy the damn girl the steak and STFU
*Women don't really like pretenders. So don't pretend you are a baller and tell shawty to get whatever it is she wants but when the check comes you asking her to go half on it..That's not what's hot in the streets playa.
*We know drinking helps to get people more comfortable but don't drink Patron(or your drink of choice) like you're drinking a cold glass of ice water on a hot summer day and you are dying of thirst. Being smashed and not remembering what happen the night before, it's not a good idea.
Now Gents it's your turn
* DO NOT let Plies lie to you and tell you being a goon is a good look. When your 50 and still single with a serious
*Try your hardest not to look at the waitress's/walk by scallywag/on the prowl hoodrat, humps and or lumps. And if you do..well just don't..Give your lady for the night your full attention.
*When ya date orders a steak, don't ask her "you see the price on that" that's just rude, and tacky, buy the damn girl the steak and STFU
*Women don't really like pretenders. So don't pretend you are a baller and tell shawty to get whatever it is she wants but when the check comes you asking her to go half on it..That's not what's hot in the streets playa.
* Do not be demanding or feeling like you are entitled to a kiss, a rub a dub on the a double s just cause you spent some money. Ever heard the saying gotta spend money to make money?? BOOM look at it that way. But if you follows these basic rules you most likely will get at least a peck on the cheek or a hug.
GOOD LUCK!!
33 comments:
As a single girl, I KNOW the dating scene is a jungle. The dating advice listed is told in a funny way, BUT let the church say "Amen," because it's the truth for both the ladies & the men!
ummmmmmm what's a date?
sincerely,
married and clueless
i still dont understand how dudes still catch an attitude when a female orders from anywhere on the menu - its a f'n date! how does somebody take a babe out and then watch the wallet - they minus well not even bother because if they cry about money during the first date, theyre finished for valentines day!
ummmmm what's valentine's day
sincerely,
married and clueless
LOl Park
SHUT IT chrissy!! LMAO
Chuck- i know, but you know what? they dump us b4 V-day..hell even b4x-mas..middle part of november all the cheapskates are single
middle part of november all the cheapskates are single
^^^^^D.O.A. lmao
lmao !!! at bammy
ok ladies :
leave them killer stilettos at home, why you ask, because nigga ain't gonna wanna hear bout you dogs-a-barking & you don't wanna be walking all funny looking like somebody just popped you off the night b4 something PROPER !
DON'T tell her that your mom is ya roomate cause she going throo some thangs....
DON'T piss on the girl on ya 1st date
DON'T video tape you pissing on the girl on ya 1st date
DON'T tell her you are uncircumsized
fellas:
don't tell your ex or baby momma where you going just to piss her off, you're date don't wanna meet/greet & get beat by your baby momma & shaquita & nem !
fellas:
don't ask your date if she's on the pill....how you know she wanna break you off ? just keep your trojans or magnums handy for emergencies & call it a day.
DON'T ask ya date if they have ever been tied up while having relations, lmao you ask me that, imma go to the ladies room, and never come back....cause that shit screams serial killer
fellas :
let's keep the homeboys away for the first few dates, you don't want them making those 'mah nigga bout to hit' faces & thumbs uping you while your date's back is turned....we see him/them, we know what those looks are about...hell we might say eff you & get with your homeboy !
ladies, DON'T describe your ex and his physique to your date, what man that is 5'6 and weigh 145 wanna hear bout another man that is 6'2 and 245 and can bench press compact cars like it ain't shit, plus he just did 5 flat in the pen, gon scare po lil ole date off if you tell him that....
DON'T piss on the girl on ya 1st date..
Hummm wonder what current R&B singer, who is currently on trial this could be directed at...
ladies, DON'T drink ya date under the table, if he orders a pina colada and you order a shot of hennesy, that is gon make him look frootier than the drink he requested, matter fact ladies if you on a date with a man who actually orders a pina colada, do the ladies room trick i metioned above....refer to comment number 11 for more info
fellas :
it's okay to chat about past relationships & what have you but here's an example of what NOT to do.....
"there was this ho i was fuckin with, right, so i was grinding my meat all in her grill back in her throat & shit & i started to pull the ho hair & i looked down & was like FUCK, this bitch is slobbing on my shit, man that shit was fucking funny...it was cool tho, you had to be there"
um no, we shouldn't have....keep this talk for yo boys....PLEASE...that's an example of when keeping it real goes bad...
hell, if you are DATING a dude who is 5'6 and 145, you might want to re-think your dating strategy, lol
i stand firm on my belief of women marking their territory in a dudes place, but dudes gotta do a better job on the initial contact - you cant overdo it on the first date because the balloon will leak of air by the second date and it will come back down to size, lol
fellas :
look, if you have suede couches n shit, don't invite her over...if we are looking at a suede couch & you're pulling fold out chairs, nigga you got a problem on your hands !
"there was this ho i was fuckin with, right, so i was grinding my meat all in her grill back in her throat & shit & i started to pull the ho hair & i looked down & was like FUCK, this bitch is slobbing on my shit, man that shit was fucking funny...it was cool tho, you had to be there"
^^^^^^ i hate bobble ann in the most loving way i can possible say that shit, heifer put a disclaimer on this shit, i am @ work....and i am lmmfatfo, why hubby be talking to me like that bout them past ho's i be like baby, stop and remember who da fuck you chatting with......
ladies :
if you got jacked up feet & your date is talking bout his special heated floors or his precious persian rugs or some shit, don't accept an invitation to his crib cause chances are, you won't be walking in that bitch with your shoes on, therefore exposing those crows feet you have & ruining any chances for a 2nd date.
bobble lou...why b/f be talking to me like that too...but we were just friends in the beginning so he felt comfy enough to talk that crazy shit & he hasn't stopped yet lol....it's funny tho but not for a first date lol
504 said...
fellas :
look, if you have suede couches n shit, don't invite her over...if we are looking at a suede couch & you're pulling fold out chairs, nigga you got a problem on your hands !
^^^^
He'll be lucky if she don't say EFF YO Couch NUCCA!!!
yall are some fools but i lurves it!! ooh time to eat
ladies:
ease up on the mac makeup or the wet n wild (whatever tickles your fancy) you don't know if homeboy has a/c in his car, you'd be sweating like a hog & dude would literally be watching your face melt as he's making a u-turn to take yo ass back to your home.
bobble get yo ass out of here with this true ass advice lmmfao melting faces and shit, and what if the dude got an allergy to that cheap ass makeup, or he keep sneezing cause you wearing that damn walmart version of bath and body works called shower and shave
Dating rule # 4080:
Given Bammy and Chrissy's physical uhhhhhhh blessings: Try your best not to remark that Bammy is actually taller when she sits down or that Chrissy must sit a foot away from the table. Also make sure that you do NOT mention that David Banner and/or Kobe be humping trannies in the offseason. Other than that, keep your eye on your wallet and car keys - these chicks are used to talking so much ish that they wind up getting left. Nop doubt - they WILL jack your ride to ensure they ain't gotta go "Survivorman" all the way home in them Payless shoes Arleeeeeeeeesha done sent airbody and they momma coupons for!
why must i cry?? lmao
well well well anon, i wonder who the fuck that is?
anybody got a SHOTgun ?
lmao i knew who it was bobble i was being sarcastic....
*writing this all down in case I get divorced**
*waving* HI ERRYBODY
hey psll !
for everyone :
never, i mean NEVER ever turn down a mint or a stick of gum....gawd is tryna tell you sumfin !!! & your date too & if you turn it down, they would think it means you're comfortable in you funkeristic element us plain folks calls stank breath !
DON'T tell her that your mom is ya roomate cause she going throo some thangs....
is this also a no for females?
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