Stand-Up Guys

“Sitting home waiting for you, cause staring at these walls is all I can do” © - Kima, Keisha or Pam

Just about every female has been there, and she knows what I mean when I say that it is one of the worse feelings in the world. You get dressed, waiting on your date/man to come…an hour rolls by…..another hour rolls by, by this point either your seething or highly concerned. You call him, no answer. Pissed, is the emotion. The next morning the call comes. Maybe you answer it, maybe you don’t. But from that day on whenever you get dressed to go on another date, that little evil bitch ass voice in the back of your head is going to be saying “You know that nugga ain’t gon’ show up right?”

So fella’s, this list is for you. Because apparently men still stand women up:


D.E.A.T.H

Standing a female up usually spells death to a relationship. Especially if you don’t call. It may not be in the next few days but it will be one of the determining reasons later on down the line. Unless y’all have had sex and your dick game is proper. Then really all the rules go out the window. But if you haven’t, you probably won’t then. And really….you guys won’t stick around if there’s no sex, will you?

Give a Fuck-less.

She doesn’t care what the reason is….all she knows is, you made her get dressed, do her hair, get beautified and you didn’t even show up. Let me take you through the process:

First we have to decide what we want to wear. This is a task that can take up most of the time. We need to plan for every event, what pants to wear…should I wear underwear? Well if I do, I have to change pants…Do my boob’s look too small in this top? Got to find another one…..oh great it doesn’t go with the pants I have on.

We put a lot of effort into getting dressed when we go on a date. A LOT, and it goes all down the drain cause you decide you wanted to do whatever. I say this all to say, save the excuse no matter what it is. Don’t give the lame ol I’m sorry either. *do something different* (that’s a freebie, I just gave you)

Ain't worth a turd

So I hear through the grapevine that you guys are tired of hearing that saying “Nigga’s ain’t shit”? Well here is one certified way to not ever hear it again........... Don’t stand a female up. Plain and simple.

**You guys are on your own for the rest of the crap that contributes the nigga’s ain’t shit movement though.

Got a big ego, such a HUGE ego

Most women are very confident, whether it’s deserved or not. We don’t like to show it too much or let on, but we know. As confident as we are in that we are just as fragile. They probably don’t want me to you that. But it’s true, and I speak nothing but truth. And you don’t want to be one of the dents in a beautiful woman’s ego do you? There’s no coming back from that. You’ll scar her and she’ll never be able to look at you OR any other man the same. You don't want that on your conscious do you? I didn't think so.

"Once a good girl goes bad, she's gone forever" the instant we lose that bit of our confidence we'll never get it back.

So men, the next time you're about to stand a woman up.......Think about these things before you do.

**emails this to the guy that stood me up last**

Things ALL Women need to know........

Yup, we back, and we doin alot of shit in list form, cause hey, we copying offa other blogs, ask us if we care tho.....

So me and Bammy brainstorm from time to time, believe it or not we really want this blog back up n running, anywho bammy was like i got some ideas of lists we could do and on her idea list was THINGS ALL WOMEN SHOULD KNOW HOW TO DO.....i decided... DATS GON BE MY COME BACK POST....cause i done been in some situations in the last few months where i couldnt depend on anybody but my damn self, and that is the most humbling shit.....plus you learn alot, and its so many things i can do now, i couldnt do 6 months ago, and i think all you females need to work on doing these things below iffen u sophisticated ladies dont already know how.....

*Make some sorta dish from scratch, i dont care if its something as simple as cornbread, you aint gotta cook everythang out the damn box, i used to ALWAYS make Jiffy cornbread if i wanted some, till one day my ass aint have any in the cabinet, i had no car to go get a box, BUT......i had shit to make it homemade so i called my granny, she told me what to do i added a lil suga to it to make it sweet like jiffy, and mayne oh mayne was it good....

*Change the oil in ya own car, really, its as simple as untwisting a cap, letting the old oil drain out, and putting a bottle of new oil in, now if you a girly girl and dont want oil under ya nails or dirt on ya DKNY slacks then i suggest u wear some gloves and change into sweatpants, i took my car to get the oil changed in it back in November and it cost me 45 fuckin bucks, i watched them niggas do the shit and said FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS i can do this myself, i watched a friend of mine do his wife's car and guess what, shit still looked simple so next time i am saving myself some money and doing it my damn self....

*Drive a stick, i am only saying this cause every female in my family and beyond can drive a stick cept me, i wanna know how tho.....lol

*Scuse me for being Crass, but this is Chrissy ya talking to here, or reading rather, lol but i think every female should know in some way shape fashion or form to know how to make a man's toes curl, during sex, w/o using her catbox all the time if that mean blowing in his ear, stroking that spot right between his balls and asshole while sucking him off, or tweeking his nipples while u ride him like a cowgirl, u gotta know @ least 1 freaky ass thing to do....

*Every female should know her handbags, just like a man can be watching a football game and tell u the fuckin stats of the whole offensive line, the school they came from, the points in shit they scored, they momma and dem social security number......Me personally cause i loooooooooove Coach bags can spot a fake one a mile away, and if there are females out there like me, then when they see me they know all of mine are real....same with Gucci's, Louis, and all them other high priced ass handbags.....

*Every women should know @ least one sports star, it dont matter the sport, and u cant know him cause he been in the news lately for being a serial ho and being a scaredy cat and running from his wife so fast he crashed his car into a tree, u gotta know him cause u know he scored this many points a game, or because he won the Heisman when he was in college, or cause he MVP or some shit, not cause he used to be roomates in college wiff yo homegirl sister fren's boyfrens cousin or some shit.....Men like that kinda crap tho, if u can sit an dwatch a game with him and be like damn why he aint run the ball back, or some sorta football lingo like that there then that man think he got a winner in you even tho u was just sayin some random ass shit....

So Ladies, gon and tell us something that you know how to do, that you think the rest of the ladies of the world should know how to do to...And fellas, tell us what yall want us to know how to do so we can fake like we gon do it knowing damn well we aint.....

Laws of Love

There are a few things that are certain, and one of them is you're either in a relationship or your not. And it just so happens Chrissy and I are a part of that certainty, I'm very much single and Chrissy is very much married. And we know how you all love our lists so we have another one for you. While blog hopping on Friday we were both at The Fly Guy Chronicles, and after a interesting debate we got this idea (thanks FG). The Laws of Love, I will have the laws for the many single, non committed folks out there and Chrissy will have the laws for all the love birds out there. So get you pen and paper and prepare to take notes.

Single Person Laws on the Road to Love and Marriage.

If at first you don't succeed - You know the saying, well we should use it. I know after the heartbreak and the drama the mind and body just doesn't think it's possible to get back in the game anymore. But Try Try again and repeat until you don't need to try anymore.

What exactly do I want - I know I can speak for myself on this, but I really don't know exactly what I want out of a relationship. I think I have idea's and things I like and look for in another person but to really give yourself fully to someone you have to know what you want out of life and each other.

Who am I - This one I think is the most important, if you don't know who you are how can you know what you can offer to someone else? So do some introspection and found out who you are and what makes you happy or mad.It will save you heartbreak and it will go along way when it's time to settle down.

Don't Settle - If you know the person isn't the right person for you, cut them loose before real emotions start to form. Because ain't nothing worse than being the only person in the relationship.

Married Person Laws on the road to love and marriage

If @ 1st you don't succeed-Just like bammy's rule says keep on trying, same applies here, if @ 1st you can't get him to see that the way you do shit is the right way, well then keep trying, if @ 1st you can't get him to see that you really not playing bout throwin' his damn shoes in the front yard if he don't keep them out the damn living room floor for you to trip over and bust ya ass, then for goodness sakes, throw em out.....

What exactly do i Have (and do i really want it?)-Well, he ain't a Casanova that's fa damn sure, and he can't piss in the damn toilet without hitting the floor 1st, BUT he makes me laugh all the time, he is a great daddy lets me hog all the hot water when we shower together, and he cleans his plate when i cook, which makes me think i really can cook, oh and he serves me beef by da pound, and he got a pretty ass set of lips, so i guess imma keep his ass..........for now

Who am I- a maid a chef, a chauffeur, a sex slave, a mommy, (when the kids really want something they call me mommy cause they know it tugs my lil heart strings) otherwise i am just momma, or hey where that lady @ that wash the clothes, fix the dinners, clean the tub out and make it sparkling clean for my bubble bath, brush my hair, find my shoes, sign my field trip slip, make my lunch, give my daddy all the service he need, bed maker, sheet straigtner,toy fixer, ice cream cone maker, always sharing her fav shit(sweettarts, grapefruit with sugar on top, what kid eats that and likes it but mine,) even tho she don't want to lady, hatin' on another when you need me to hate on em cause they make you sick hater, lol, book reader (and if i got to read mofo Clifford goes to School one mo' time imma just slit my wrists) hug giver, cocoa butter rubber, medicine giver, nurse, know it all so ask it all, remote control finder, braid twister when they come undone, sock finder, peace keeper, gum and candy in her purse alll the time so let's go throo it and see keeper, change giver, homework helper, clothes buyer, unnecessary shit i don't need getter, cheering in the stands when i do something good even if i really suck @ it supporter, bread winner, weed buyer, jordan getter, when they 1st come out tho and be like damn near 200 a pop for a grown ass man, watch football and tries to understand it even tho i don't viewer, human pillow cause somebody head always in my lap wife and mother, after that and only after that, i am me...

DO Settle- for whatever time you have for yourself when the day is done, the kids sleeping like angels, hubby out ya hair, settle for that peace and quiet, read that book you been trying to finish for 6 months, take that bubble bath that has been cut down to 10 min showers cause you gotta get out and iron clothes, go sit in the damn nail salon for 2 hrs and get that chinese lady to give you the damn total package, and if none of that works and chaos still reigns around you, get you a shot of liquor, and tune them niggas out, works everytime i swear....

These are just a few of the laws of love.

Top 10 Reasons.....

Pic: googlefied snicthes!!

.....Well dying anyway. Now Y'all know I'm a hip-hop head and, Chrissy, well Chrissy loves David Banner so yeah..... Anyway we thought we'd do a list, since we haven't done one in a while. We chose the assassination of Hip Hop and it's reasons, I mean it's getting assaulted. So here is our Top Ten reasons that hip hop is dying. Oh and I just want to say it's not dead yet hope is still alive *ahem* Lupe *ahem* Fiasco.

10.) Does anyone else feel a little dumber after listening to some of these lyrics today? I mean there has to be more in your vocabulary than Yahh and L-O. There is no thought process behind the lyrics in this already dumb world.

9.) Just about everyone is imitating someone, Hip Hop is, well was, about being original. But not now. People want to be the next Jay-z or Tupac or BIG. What happened to being yourself?

8.)This one should probably be connected to 10 but it deserves to get it's own spot. Ain't nobody saying nothing. I'd rather listen to the beat half the time than listen to someone talking fast about nothing over it. As long as the hooks kinda catchy and the beat is hot, you got a hit. Which leads to number 7.

7.) People are getting stupid, plain and simple. It could be the only logical explanation as to why some of these songs are hit worthy.

6.) Soulja Boy, need i say more?

5.) I am guessing these fools think beefs sell records, iono maybe it do, but damn the beefs they be having make all the parties involved look like lil bitches, if you gon beef, beef like a man, not like an angry female, putting tapes out of niggas crying, getting on youtube @ 50+ yrs old talking shit when you know you ain't had a hit since.....EVER

4.) The South Takeover - I'm grew up in Florida so I know about the whole southern rap thing. I'm not by any means saying it's all bad but the bad so outweighs the good. Quick name 10 emcee's from the south? (and by emcee's i mean real emcee's...Emcee's spit rhymes that uplift they people ~ KRS1)........ still waiting...(damn i actually got 8 and a half..hmm)

3.) Sex don't always sell - Why just about every song on the radio concerning hip-hop is talking about sex? I don't know if ya'll know this but um there's more to life than just sex(shocker,I know).

2.) I think this next point could tie in to number 3. Ain't no female voice in the industry which kinda sorta leads to the oversexualized lyrics. I mean I'm not saying some of the females ain't freak nasties them self but they for the most part, some of them, okay maybe one or two spit true woman stories. I think losing that has made the rap game to "thuggish". There's not much love going round, not much emotion. I mean I could be completely wrong but you know what they say.."behind every good man is a great woman" or something like that.

1.)To me in my opinion artist nowadays are focusing more on the business side than the art side. They all want to get in the game and then branch out in to other things. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that hey do you; but while doing that they kind of lose sense of the main reason they are even able to branch out, which is the music. They have their hands or want to get their hands in so many other avenue's of entertainment that the music, the first thing and to me the most important gets lost in translation .

Now we Two Ditzy Broads ain't no Hip Hop aficionado's or nothing like that but we are lovers of good hip hop music and David Banner and these are just our thoughts. So what say you, do you agree?

Se7ven

Okay so maybe I've seen that movie a tad bit too much. But it got me to thinking about what sins are some of the famous we look up to yeah right are? Here is our list below:

Greed - I'd have to go with Diddy. He just seems like he's a greedy money hungry dude. What did he say on MTB4 - "don't miss with my money" or some crap like that. Stop being greedy Diddy and give to the needy. I'm not saying he doesn't though, but whatever..

Wrath - Well this is going be hard..Hmm...I'll take Naomi Campbell for $1000 Alex. All i know is I'm glad these phones are no longer being made.

Sloth - Gee bob this is another hard one. Let's see? How bout Britney Spears? I mean the chick is a good performer. And she's not really using all her talents. no gifts. noooo um abilities to her advantage. But she kinda is getting her life back on track. So she might not be here for long.

Envy-This one is a tie between Lil Kim, and Michael Jackson, them fools envy other ppl so much they cut themselves up to look like em, Michael envies an old white lady, Lil Kim well she envies Michael Jackson or a cat, one.....

Pride-Kanye West gets this one, let him tell it, he da best, there is no other, and he HAS TO BE the most important, just look @ how he acts when he don't get the accolades and recognition he feels he deserves......

Gluttony- Kimora Lee Simmons, fa real is there really a need for her to have a closet like the one she showed us on cribs? She stay doing shit in excess, watch her show, and you will see what i mean.....

Pic's taken from :digitalart.org

Lust-This one goes to (drum roll please) Kim Kardashian, do we really need to explain why she gets the title????

Check the link below for definitions of the 7 Deadly Sins.......

http://www.deadlysins.com/

You so out the loop......

The Queens of lists we are..... and this one here me and bammy bout to make is prolly gon be my fav one, cause i am one of those people who dreads birthdays, i despise getting older, the thought of it makes me wanna turn back time, but i digress, i know that is not possible unless you Marty Mcfly, and got a homeboy with wild hair that can soup up old ass sports cars and transport ya ass.....anyway here is a list, ladies and gents, WAYS TO TELL IF YOU ARE GETTING OLD.....

You gotta constantly ask ya kids, friends, spouse, stuff like "who sang that song they playing on the radio right now", or "who is Kanye (pronounced Kane) West"

When you start addressing teenage girls in between the ages of 14-18 as "lil girls" and criticizing they way of dress

When you sleep before 10:00pm every night, ya hey days pretty much over

You saying stuff like "what the hell kinda song is love in da club, or that mess where the dude be saying ohhhh ohhh baby what's it called falsetto......yeah that's it, real r&b died when bobby brown left the game"

You'd rather stay home and get lifted, and chill with ya man/lady instead of going to the clubs....

Okay, lol this one right here gets me every time, when i realize that i graduated in 1998, and bammy graduated in what 2000 something other, i am like damn, i done lost track of time and reality......

Remember back in ya party till ya fall the hell out days, and you could do like 10-15 shots, drink 2 beers, and go home and fall out no vomiting, maybe a little headache, but you cool to do it all over again the next night, if ya ass drink 2 shots and ya upchuck, and wake up the next morning talking bout man i am never drinking again, and you really don't for like 6 months cause you felt so horrible the last time you got drunk, then you are old homeboy/home girl, so just hang it up

You still think the Electric Slide is the way to start a party.

People start referring to you as ma'am and sir or miss and mister.

You remember the times when you could have done all the new dances at the club and wake up the next day good to go, but now you'll be lucky if you can do ONE of the new dances and not have to go home and bathe in Bengay.

You get PISSED @ the clerk when you have ya ID ready to show they ass so you can purchase ya liquor, and your cigarette products, lmmfao and they say"oh, i don't need that".

Now yall know yall do some of this stuff, cause i know i do, so holla @ us......

Shoo Flea!

Not calling anyone a flea but i KNOW every female has been in this situation: Having a stalker, a guy you are just not feeling but he can't take the trail of breadcrumb hints! Always calling, poppin up at your favorite club, just dropping by your job, clingier than spandex. Me being in that kind of incident as we speak Chrissy and I have a list for all you young men out there to let you know when a female just ain't in to ya. Don't say we never gave you nothing!


-Now some of these might seem simple but yall just ain't UNDERSTANDING them.


*And it's ringing, and ringing - If a women is really into you she'd answer the phone no later than the third ring. If you keep on calling and ain't getting no answer..Back away nice and easy please.

*Going Mute- Let's face it, us women like to talk and we can talk about anything. So if you do happen to to get her to answer your calls but she doesn't talk while on the line, it's not cause she's shy but she just doesn't want to talk to you (and she too nice to tell you that)


*Track Star - Let's just say you happen to be in the same club or you work together, if everytime she see's you and she makes a quick uey (u-turn) and speeds off like speed racer, it's not cause she forgot something or she "she really had to go to the bathroom" that's called avoiding you!



Lastly, if we just fed up gentlemen, and yall ain't getting the point, if calls are going unanswered, e-mails getting deleted w/o being read, phone numbers are being changed, restraining orders are being taken out, then our last resort would be to just tell yall flat out, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE YOU CLINGY ASS NEGRO!! hopefully we won't have to resort to that but hey, sometimes we may need to......

Adulthood SUXS...

Yall know me and bmama, we the damn queens of lists and we have come up with another one for you guys, 9 things that SUCK bout being an adult.....

*paying bills

*dumb boys grow up to be even dumber men (no offense to all our male readers tho, we just saying is all....SMOOCHES)

*having to get, and actually keep a job

*learning how to cook or in my case burn...lmao

*Learning that things never go the way they are planned.

*Paying bills..yea we said it twice!

*getting run outta an animated movie..I wanted to Find Nemo TOO!

*body parts starting to head south..

*Having to lie about your age.

These are just a few things that kick rocks about being a grown-up..Do you like being an adult?

Cha! Men...*rolls eyes*

Okay so I'm single and prolly will be for a while (but that's a whole nother story) and my partna in blog'n in crime is married (though sometimes...lol i kid) and no matter what your relationship status is I'm sure you been left wondering "why do men do that". Things from leaving the toilet seat up or trying on your underwear (oh wait is that just Oscar de la Hoya?) we are all left wondering Why do they do that. Here are a few of our questions, any men out there should comment and try to help us understand yall better..

* I completely understand that men are visual beings but DAMN! when we are together and a hoodrat passes by with a$$ cheeks out, negro you ain't gotta start drooling!

*WHY when a young lady is walking down the street and you holla (out the window mind you) and don't get a response from her or one you don't like you gotta resort to name calling? If i was so oogly then why the eff you just tried to holla? (one of my major peeves)

*Why lie? WHEN you get found out that makes WORSE than just telling the truth in the first place. And besides we know you wasn't over Tron's house all damn night!

*Don't send me text messages or e-mails..if you got something to say CALL ME, don't you think i would rather hear you voice than read your words?

*If you are gonna be late why don't you call and let us know?...Feeling stood up is not a good thing.

*I just wanna go on record saying that everything above Bahama wrote, my girl needed to vent on yall asses lol.... now my turn to give yall the married perspective on this here topic.....

*Why when i ask my husband to do some shit he don't do it, but he ask me to do some shit i gotta jump.....MAN PLEASE

*Why i gotta be the bad guy all the time and tell the kids to go to bed why you gotta be the damn super dad??? and me the mean mommy

*Why i gotta go get the towel after sex all the time, i know i am good but i did not take your ability to walk....or did i......

*How come i gotta STFU when sports is on, and most times i do, but when my shows on, nip/tuck, flavor of love, general hospital, you wanna come kissing me all in my spots tryna to get me all hot, i got news fa ya buddy, ain't no halftime on any of those shows i named above, so just sit tight for a damn hour and STFU......

Shouts out to all the men me and my partna know......can't list all yall but hey yall know what it is......

Keeping Ya Head Above Water.....

Yall know me and bmama are so into the lists here @ our blog, so i decided to come up with this one here cause i am a hustla till the end when it come to getting mine, and the cost of living is going up like crazy.... so here goes.....8 ways to tell if you struggling...

*You don't even open ya bills anymore, you just wait till you get that "reminder call" telling you that it's past due, that's IF ya phone still on

*You know which stores to go to to write a check even tho you KNOW you ain't got the money in your account to cover it.....

*Start the morning off with NOTHING in ya pockets, but end it with @ least 100.00 bucks, and it ain't involve you selling ass, or anything else illegal and demoralizing (this one here can also go on the imma hustla list as well)

*Before you even get paid, ya paycheck is pretty much already spent

*Entertainment for the kids, take 20.00 bucks and take they ass to the nickel arcade, and let them know from the jump, after this 20.00 gone, that's it we going home...or the library cause that is a FREE and fun way to entertain them...Grownup entertainment, bottle of liquor and Dave Chapelle re-runs...

*People who used to call and ask you for rides get hung up on now cause they broke asses seem to think that 10.00 bucks is enough to come scoop they ass up and take them all the way to the other side of town...i ain't coming NOWHERE for less than $25.00.....times is hard

*You looking for anything electronic in your house that really doesn't get that much usage to pawn....lmmfao

*You know eleventy thousand ways to cook chicken cause IT IS the cheapest meat in the store
holla @ me if you know damn well this list apply to you, or someone you know.....ALL of it apply to my broke ass right now.......

12 Steps

No not those steps..This is our list of letting you know your a drunk:

1.By 12 in the afternoon your fein'n for some alcohol, that's if you haven't already drank some..

2.You CONSTANTLY taste liquor in your mouth, even after brushing, flossing, rinsing ya mouth out with the strongest mouthwash there is and chewing gum and poppin tic tacs..

3.Your hand has a Lil Wayne "syrup" cup in it @ all times, in every photo, @ every function.....and we all know you ain't drinking no damn water either, since when do water make ya insides burn when it's going down

4.The folks at the drive thru liquor store know your name AND the make and model of your car!

5.You keep a travel size of your favorite drink in your purse or in your office

6. You panic when you realize you just poured the last of ya fav drink into ya glass

7. You drink anything, and i mean anything that has alcohol in it and gives you a buzz, weather it be hennesey, grey goose, alize, dom p any kinda wine including the cheap stuff, mad dogg 20/20, wild irish rose, thunderbird, nyquil, Robitussin, gas, rubbing alcohol, nail polish remover, whatever.....

8. You loose count after shot number 5 of your drink of choice

9. People say stuff like "damn who spilled some gin, or why it smell like beer in ya car all the time" when they come around you cause the alcohol is coming out ya pores..

10.Friends and family buy you liquor as a gift

11.You have a special name for Happy hour i.e bip'n time or you are on a first name basis with your Drinks i.e Jose and Johnnie (non drinkers actually think your talking about a real person

12. You don't go to parties to eat or mingle, you go to get MESSED UP!!!

**PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY**

Did you look in the mirror? Fella's Edition

So, I told yall in our last post i was coming back to run down a list for the fellas on what NOT to wear, but 1st imma give all readers a little insight into what i like to see on a man.....now all yall that know me KNOW i likes me a thug ass type dude, so fresh Jordan's, with a throwback, and some jeans will suit me just fine, or a nice shirt with slacks if you taking me somewhere, otherwise put that damn jersey back on. Now my partner in bloggin' likes her men in button downs and slacks if he going out and if he just chillin..regular white t and jeans...and she loves a man in some basketball shorts...me too but his legs better be sessay if he wearing them shorts...Anyway we have compiled a list and got the public to vote (just kidding no we didn't) and this is what a man SHOULDN'T wear.....


*Man sandals aka Mandles - not big on em but PLEASE don't wear socks with them...that's so tacky just gone head on and get a pedicure if you must wear them


*All for the throwback jersey's gentleman, but believe it or not, alot of females know the difference between a real and a fake, and them jersey's from wal-mart FAKE.....


*I have no clue what they are called but i am sure you can get them @ ya local bazaar, or "urban wear" store, but them pants sets with the matching tops and pants, DO NOT do it fellas, that shit screams WANNA BE PIMP.....


*Gentlemen, if ya fresh to death from head to toe, looking good, smelling good, then please make sure your shoes coincide with that whole ambiance, a man that looks good from head to ankle kills me, did yall just say fuck it when you got down to the shoes?????


*If ya built like Snoop Dogg, or T.I. please NO WIFE BEATERS, or white T's, or muscle shirts, or undershirts, whatever you wanna call them....


*If ya built like Bruce Bruce, or Ruben Studdard, again please, NO WIFE BEATERS, or white T's or muscle shirts, or undershirts whatever you wanna call them.....


*Baseball caps, not big on them myself, i think they are made for little boys, but if a grown man insists on wearing them, wear them with a lil flare, cock it to the side, bring it to the back, iono, but DO NOT wear it turned to the front, and fitted all the way down on ya head, lmmfao i don't know why but that shit is so corny and tacky to me.....


*All men should wear ankle socks, not socks pulled all the way up to ya knees, not socks that are pushed and bunched up all the way down round ya ashy ankles, but ankle socks, unless you gotta put them Stacey Adams on, then you need to wear dress socks......


*3 Piece suits are not the bidness yall, specially in a hot ass club in the middle of summer, you just look stupid, and hot as hell, not attractive @ all....


*STOP IT with the velour track suits, a simple pair of sweats and a sweatshirt is cool while you running ya errands on the weekends......


*If ya wearing a white button down PLEASE make sure the collar is clean, not dingy, matter fact please make sure the whole damn shirt is clean......


*If you can't afford to buy real bling, DO NOT (and this is a pet peeve of mine) go out and buy them big ass fake ass looking cubic zirconia earrings that take up ya whole fuckin' earlobe, knowing damn well the shit ain't real cause can't no damn snack vendor, or janitor, or CVS cashier, or whse worker, or paperboy, or Targert shelf stocker can afford to buy bling that resembles shit a damn basketball player that makes millions buy....no way possible, you'd have to save all ya CVS checks for 15 yrs to afford that shit........so QUIT FRONTIN'

Did you look in the mirror?

Okay so some females have no idea how to dress. Someone lied to them and told them that the halter top with the pleather pants is cute on them, but half their gut is hanging out and gravity done took hold of their chest. So here are some things women shouldn't wear no matter what.



*Females with a large rack, please do not wear tank tops....BRALESS not cute

*Females, if ya calves look like tree stumps, then boots are NOT your friend, so quit buying them!

*Yall know I couldn't leave the itty bitty's out, so all ladies with a small rack, DO NOT wear a pushup bra, looks like ya chest is fighting with ya clavicle bones, so not cute....

*DO NOT wear white dress shoes LADIES, especially if you like a size ten, look like ya got lil yachts on ya feet, matter fact don't wear white shoes PERIOD....

*If you over 21 anything from these clothing lines is not for you, maybe for ya teenagers, but not you: J-LO, Rocawear, Phat Farm, Ecko, South Pole, all meant for ppl 21 and under....

*Just cause Beyonce be wearing gold lame and silver, that does not mean it's okay for us to do it ladies, jeans with a gold lame top and heels in the club, not cute, matter fact, you prolly be blinding niggas tryna approach you, so next time you think bout wearing that gold or silver lame top, dress, skirt to the club with glitter and starts on it, you may just be keeping ya future hubby @ bay, cause he can't see yo' ass from all the glitter-tastic shit going on with ya top.....

*Flat booty females, DO NOT buy apple bottom jeans, cause contrary to what you may think, they do not make ya ass any fatter, if anything they making it FLATTER....

*High-waisted pants are not made for people with hips or ass...i.e black women

*If you are wearing something that requires a strapless bra, then by all means damn it get you one, don't nobody wanna see ya dirty white bra straps peeping out the back of a summer dress, or seeing ya fuschia bra straps peeping out of a green halter dress, just tacky.......



*The world doesn't wanna know ya secrets girls, so please, please wear the appropriate kind of drawz for the occassion, you wearing a lil black dress, get ya a lil black thong, you wearing white pants, get ya a white thong, or go commando, lmao don't nobody wanna see a phat ass in a pair of white pants, and underneath you got on fruit of the loom panties with flowers and bows and shit on them so not cute......



Note to the Fellas, yall next, we gon run down a list of what is unnattractive on a grown ass man, imma gon give yall a lil preview, STACEY ADAMS SHOES DO NOT GO WITH EVERYTHING......lmmfao

You know you've been on the computer too long when..

Okay so most people spend half or all of their days on the computer or texting on the phone..Technology, gotta love it right? So we divised a list: You know when you've been on the computer too long when:



*you close your eyes and the layout of whatever you were looking at is etch in your mind

*Instead of just laughing when someone tells you a joke when you are off-line you say L.M.A.O

*you watch all your favorite shows and movies on your computer

*all the people that you know and consider your close friends are online and you've never met.

*you type in computer slang in important e-mails

*you get all your dating advice from websites

* you get nothing but perfect scores on solitaire

*you taught yourself how to play hearts, spades, chinese checkers, chess, or backgammon online



Now who's guilty of doing any of those things?? If so i suggest you google to find the nearest computer annoymous group..