Tiger Woods cheated on his wife.....15 times. You know how many times that is? Whatever, we're passed that and apparently so is his wife. She called off the divorce and is gonna try and give it another go. *claps for her* I don't know many chicks that would do that but....whatever. So....I was thinking if it were me and I was put in her situation, I'd make that man whore sign a contract. And being the totally brilliant dizty broads that we are, here's what that contact would look like:
This agreement made this day between Elgin Woods Jr. and Elin Woods is to be kept and performed on the part of said parties hereto, respectively as herein stated:
I, Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods agree to; Love and honor my wife, and in doing so I have agreed to sign this contract and follow the terms agreed upon between my wife and I. I do fully understand the terms and will follow them to the best of my ability. And if I don't, I understand the consequences of those actions. I love my wife and kids, and want to make this union work.
Terms to be observed by and between the parties; If Mr. Woods is caught in any act's of infidelity either or all of the following will take place:
- His wife can chop his dick and balls set off and place it on display.
- His wife will have free reign to his bank accounts.
- He will have to pay 100,000 for every mistress that can be found.
-He will have to admit that he is indeed black...........FINALLY.
This agreement should be binding upon both parties, and hoes and or scallywags that interfere with the union between the married couple. This contract shall be enforced under the law, Nigga's ain't shit.
This is the end of the contract.
Signed this day and in the presence of:
Witness: Lorena Bobbitt __________
Deangelo Hall/Oakland Raiders~Cornerback - I got a thing for lips and oh, if he don't have a nice set.
Clinton Portis/Washington Redskins~Running Back - He is crazy!And i like crazy, even though he's a UM player I like him.
Reggie Bush/New Orleans Saints~Running Back - Even though he's off limits (rolls eyes) he's still fine and you can't deny that.
Charles Woodson/Oakland Raiders~ Safety - Fine, that's all I'm going to say.
Lance Briggs/ Chicago Bears~Linebacker - He could tackle me all day everyday..
Brady Quinn/Cleveland Browns ~ Quarterback - He's just a cutie if you ask me.
Kellen Winslow/Cleveland Browns ~ Wide Receiver - Now this one is really crazy but he wears crazy well.
Santana Moss/Washington Redskins ~Wide Receiver - Whoa i think I got too many UM players on here..hmm but he's the cutest one. And his brother is cute too.
pic:googlefied
