Sign Here Tiger

Tiger Woods cheated on his wife.....15 times. You know how many times that is? Whatever, we're passed that and apparently so is his wife. She called off the divorce and is gonna try and give it another go. *claps for her* I don't know many chicks that would do that but....whatever. So....I was thinking if it were me and I was put in her situation, I'd make that man whore sign a contract. And being the totally brilliant dizty broads that we are, here's what that contact would look like:

This agreement made this day between Elgin Woods Jr. and Elin Woods is to be kept and performed on the part of said parties hereto, respectively as herein stated:

I, Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods agree to; Love and honor my wife, and in doing so I have agreed to sign this contract and follow the terms agreed upon between my wife and I. I do fully understand the terms and will follow them to the best of my ability. And if I don't, I understand the consequences of those actions. I love my wife and kids, and want to make this union work.

Terms to be observed by and between the parties; If Mr. Woods is caught in any act's of infidelity either or all of the following will take place:

- His wife can chop his dick and balls set off and place it on display.

- His wife will have free reign to his bank accounts.

- He will have to pay 100,000 for every mistress that can be found.

-He will have to admit that he is indeed black...........FINALLY.

This agreement should be binding upon both parties, and hoes and or scallywags that interfere with the union between the married couple. This contract shall be enforced under the law, Nigga's ain't shit.

This is the end of the contract.

Signed this day and in the presence of:

Witness: Lorena Bobbitt __________

Open Letter

Fella's of the world,




This open letter is for you. This topic has no doubt been discussed for years, centuries even, and yet we really don't have a clear cut answer. The question and matter at hand is, will you men holla at anything that has a sexy walk and lady lumps? ( I used the term lady loosely) Seriously, there are men out there that STILL want to spit game to Super (i got a detachable vajayjay and esophagus)head. Really? That lady, no, lady ain't the right term...that woman, no, woman don't really suit her either...That lot lizard has been around the block like 50-11 times and men will STILL holla.



It's a mind boggling thing for real women to grasp. Is it the fact that you don't think you'll be turn down by lot lizards,scallywags and gutterbutt trollops that persuades you to holla at them? Will you indeed holla at anything with a fat ass in a skirt?Now we don't mean to generalize but we're sure that every man at one time has holla'd at a female of questionable pedigree.Now we understand that every man his preferred preference in a lady friend but spitting game to skee'o's not only makes you look questionable but it gives them footdraggers confidence that they really don't need.



We would like to be wrong but I don't think we are. It's a self esteem thing huh? We are honestly curious about this topic, Will men holla at anything? Prove us worng that you all aren't the mindless, sex driven creatures you're thought to be...



Signed,



The Real Ladies of Two Ditzy Broads

Open Letter

Dear Thong Makers,

There seems to be a common problem occurring with your under-garments. For women with more than enough junk in their trunk these items are not very comfortable to wear. They seem to want to become one with our bodies, and in doing so they get stuck all up in ya ass. Which makes it that much harder to come out. We understand that they are really made for men in the first place but can we at least have a lil room to breathe down there? Now we are telling you this for YOUR benefit because many woman rather not wear thongs anyway, and what happens when women aren't wearing underwear? They go commando, we didn't go to business school but we think that might mean you'll lose money.

Now, please understand we are in no way shape fashion or form want to single handedly shut down the thong bidness, all we want is to be comfy when we are cute, here are a few suggestions below that you all can feel free to read, take the ideas and run with em so all us big booty ladies (little booty ladies too) can feel comfy when we got a thong on.....

*LACE AINT CHA FRIEND them lacy thongs itch and they claw ya booty up something fierce dont use lace ever again to make a thong

*Please add this as a size OOCA (out of control ass) right along with sizes S M L AND XL

*Also u might wanna just add a disclaimer to all thongs that say something to the effect like u may suffer from sever side effects like nausea, headaches, soreness in the ass crack, irritability, ya know stuff like that so women can be made aware of what they getting into when they purchase a thong....

So can you please, go back to the drawing board.

Best wishes,

Two Ditzy Broads